It takes a lot of courage and bravery to open up and be yourself, however my experience has been harder than what I originally hoped for.
I’ve felt as if a chain has been tied around my neck and it has been dragging behind me for so long, stopping me from being the person who I truly want to be. A person I truly need to be!
It has been an uphill battle, but indulging in courage, allowed me to be more brave accepting who I am as a person.
I have my reasons for publishing this piece of writing, it’s on a personal level however I need this platform to express my true self.
It may come as a shock to some, but not many. I don’t feel the need to inform each individual of my identity and I don’t need to show my identity off, but what I do need is not only to tell those important to me, but telling the world seems to be my release of self expression and exploring my own emotions and sexuality. I need to do this for me!
Yes, I’M GAY!!
I have been in a few relationships with girls, one teenage sweetheart, another couple of girls which started of as relationships and soon turned out to be casual hook ups.
I matured, started working and soon met a girl who I fell for. We travelled, had our own home, got engaged and married. We were together for eleven years, married for three and unfortunately we miscarried our first baby.
I always found girls attractive and shared about my experimenting antics growing up, experimenting with both male and female, but I was accepted from the beginning of my relationship and later marriage.
I came out to my family as bisexual in 2015, which wasn’t of any surprise to them. I felt like I was that tiny bit lighter, but not completely.
My marriage ended due to personal problems away from the truth of my sexuality, but soon after I did find love and this time it was more powerful than any other.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
I thought I knew what true love was before, but it was soon clear it was to be felt for the very first time.
I met a guy online, who contacted me complimenting my smile and asked if I fancied a coffee. He was Scottish and over in Belfast on a work project and was looking for some friendships.
I had lost a great deal of my friends growing up due to different reasons, so I thought why the hell not.
It was as if this Scottish bloke was sent for a reason, it was love at first sight. I felt completely different to anything I have experienced before and instantly I knew. Everything changed, it was like fate.
Today, I’m very happy with my Scotsman Andrew and it’s safe to say we’re madly and deeply in love.
It just feels right, my life feels complete and the man who walked into my life is the most beautiful, caring and sweetest man with the biggest soul. It’s Andrew and I from now on, he is my future.
I have had time to reflect about life, me and my sexuality. I know being gay doesn’t difine me as a person and being sexually attracted to the same sex doesn’t make me any less of a man. I’ll love whoever I want, it’s an emotion I can’t go against. I’ll grown to accept love is love.
I will forever to continue to follow my heart and explore this beautiful feeling of love. I’m being true to myself and from now on I no longer need to hide. I am what I am, i’m only human.
“To be courageous enough to the best version of yourself is the biggest success you will ever succeed” – James Keenan