BLUE CURTAINS

Behind these blue curtains here I lay,

There’s no interaction and nothing to say.

With help from Doctors and the Psychiatrist too,

The more I endure the thoughts, the more I feel, blue.

It’s a mental hospital i’m now at and i’m here for help,

But despite their efforts, they makes me want to reuse my belt.

I still hurt and worry and mostly sit scared,

I just want to be normal, I just want to be heard.

I ask myself why, I even question life and me,

The more I think, I just want to be left be.

My mind isn’t focused and struggling to concentrate,

I’m just a burden and adding more weight.

I’m crying sore each morning evening and night,

My hopes are zero to overcome, I don’t have no future in sight.

bruised faced, blurry eyes, drugged and sedated,

I’m fighting my struggles and feeling hated.

To able to say that I feel great, well that would be a lie,

When really, I’m hurting sore and all I want is to die.

I’ve got my Partner, Mum and Sisters for support,

Despite what I have, I harm to distort.

It’s difficult to imagine and even harder to speak

With my best efforts buried, my eyes only leak.

The more I’m trapped, my pain will worsen,

I just want to be better and feel like a normal person.

So I ask myself why, why me, why was I chosen?

The answer I get fills me with hurtful emotion.

I’m locked here, sat in front of this blue curtain.

Can I guarantee my future, I’m not very certain.

I’m hospitalised and unfortunately sectioned,

Im trying my best to find my right direction.

I’m hard sore and done with crying,

my heart aches as i’m slowly dying.

So this is me, this is me currently,

In hope for a future set with clarity.

Despite my hope and one thing for certain,

It’s just going to be me and this blue curtain.

– James Keenan

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