Today i’m home and I can’t find enough words allowing me to express my emotions right now. I still feel a little raw and confused and a pain still remains in the shadow. That aside, I was granted fit enough by the professionals within the mental health services to be discharged from hospital.
I’m not complaining!
Now that I have been physically discharged, I found my recovery process to be slow, but learnt that I will always be in recovery. I found this new mindset of being positive empowering.
The next part of my journey will allow me to overcome the dangers, demons and fears. I don’t want to be recognised as a victim or someone not well, I am a survivor but don’t want that title under my name. I just want to live and be good enough.
I want to be normal. I wish my life was perfect. Why can’t I just have an ordinary life. Questions I asked myself daily before and got no answers, but now I have
grown to accept that ‘normal’ doesn’t exist nor is ‘perfection’. I wanted the world and couldn’t get it, but I had to set my goal of achievement to a lower level and be realistic of my expertise.
I have learnt that I am the expert of myself.
I’m human, yet it took me so long to realise that normality and perfection doesn’t exist and that my expertise had to be realistic. I accepted time and purely concentrated that I couldn’t turn back time, stop time, but realised I can control time and how I may use it. Time alone is powerful!
It’s no secret I have a Mental Health Illness, I usually share it without permission from myself sometimes, but it’s a method of coping for me and the time during the process helps me come to terms of what recovery means to me and how I continue to better my mindset, behaviour and hope.
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Im not a professional in the field of mental health, but I’m a person who has lived experiences and able to share hope to others, man, woman or child. To advise you what to do wouldn’t be entirely fair for you, as you need to overcome your own darkness you need to show responsibility for wanting change. You need to find hope within yourself and sometimes we need a little help just to start. It’s incredibly brave to show such courage during a moment of crisis to have the want to ask for help.
I can’t urge people enough who are suffering with a mental health illness, symptoms or having feelings of not worth living to seek immediate help and to contact their GP.
Some people don’t like sharing such sensitive events, but to be able to locate the best method of help, you need to have the want to speak with someone, even if it’s a friend or family memeber. Lifeline in Northern Ireland is a huge benefit to persons in despair.
Self care, don’t neglect, be true to yourself, smile and don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to needing help. Asking for help is the strongest thing you could do.
Please remember you are powerful, you are brave and you deserve everything this world has to give. Smile and know your worth, know you are the expert of your own life. Never give up on hope and believe in yourself. Know you are precious.
– James Keenan
‘Peace begins with a smile, spread love everywhere you go and let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. Joy is a net of love of which only catch souls. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strengths lie.’
– St. Mother Teresa