LOVING OURSELVES

How do you love yourself? Self-love and self-compassion are the greatest jobs to find within.

Finding inner peace and happiness means cultivating compassion towards ourselves. This is easier said than done of course. Self-love and self-compassion are more than just being good to ourselves, such as relaxing in a hot tub or buying nice things, although these things can help, but so can a lot more.

Self-compassion is an inner job. It has to do with how we hold ourselves, how we relate to our feelings. It means finding the strength and resilience to embrace the full range of our human emotions. It means tapping into inner resources that can meet our feelings with a gentle embrace rather than with judgment.

Being human means sometimes wrestling with uncomfortable emotions and facing the challenges life throws at us. 

There is nothing outside of ourselves that can even enable you, to get better, stronger, richer, quicker; or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself.

At the same time, be proud of who you are. Recognise and accept what you are not good at, but focus on what you can do well.

Some of us make people laugh, some are good at maths, others cook fantastic meals. Some of us share our lifestyle with the people who live close to us, others live very differently.

We’re all different. It’s much healthier to accept that you’re unique than to wish you were more like someone else.

Self-love, self-compassion and self-esteem are interlinked in some way. Feeling good about yourself can boosts your confidence to learn new skills, visit new places and meeting new people.

Allowing a good self-esteem to help you cope when life takes a difficult turn for whatever reason can be acknowledgeable, however look deeper within and look at self-love and compassion. It can be the hardest job, but recognising it and practicing will be the greatest job.

Work out if there’s anything about yourself that you still want to change. Are your expectations realistic? If they are, work towards the change in small steps. Compassion means accepting ourselves as we are. It means meeting our feelings with love and gentleness rather than trying to fix ourselves or get rid of them. It means being our own best friend.

It may sound strange, but being compassionate toward ourselves also serves others. Feeling more peace inside, we have more to offer. By becoming more familiar and gentle with our own feelings, we can extend compassionate attention toward others when they are feeling distressed or challenged.

My uniqueness is my bless, my wants have worth, my presence is my power, I have the authority to create change. 

James

DOGS AND MENTAL HEALTH

How one dog can make the biggest difference to your mental health.

The companionship that a dog can offer you is a great way to reduce anxiety and stress. A dog can be a great source of comfort, companionship and motivation for their owners.

Dogs have been known for being a great motivator for people struggling with mental ill health. In many ways, any pet can help us to live mentally healthier lives, but dogs especially are great at encouraging owners to get exercise, and this can be beneficial for those suffering from depression.

“Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.” -Kinky Friedman

It’s known that both cats and dogs can have calming effects on their owner just by cuddling them, sitting next to them or having a play around. Caring for a pet also gives your day a purpose and a sense of achievement. It also helps you feel valuable and needed as an owner.

Walking your dog often leads to conversations with other dog owners and this helps owners to stay socially connected and less withdrawn. People who have more social relationships and friendships tend to be mentally healthier.

Jack, my wee dog is great companion all day every day. He give me the greatest company, a sense of security and he even listens to me ranting and of loading my frustrations and in return; I get cuddles and kisses.

Jack is a mix breed being collie x lurcher so he needs his exercise and playing around with him is a great way to release my own negative energies plus I also get to burn off a few pounds too.

Pets have evolved to become acutely attuned to humans and our behavior and emotions. Dogs, for example, are able to understand many of the words we use, but they’re even better at interpreting our tone of voice, body language, and gestures. And like any good companion, a loyal dog will look into your eyes to gauge your emotional state and try to understand what you’re thinking and feeling.

“No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you feel rich.” – Louis Sabin

Jack is like my own therapist, if I cry, he is by my side trying to kiss and snuggle, if I’m in bad form he was sneaky his way into my arms or to sit on my lap and when I am full of energy and happy, so is he. Jack provides valuable companionship and more importantly he adds a real joy to my life whilst giving me unconditional love.

– James Keenan

GRATITUDE

What is gratitude, how can we use gratitude, do you practice gratitude?

Gratitude is a quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. It’s not just gifts though, it goes far beyond that.

Gratitude, thankfulness or gratefulness is a feeling of appreciation felt by positive responses. The experiences of gratitude has historically been a focus of several world religions, with it being a topic of interest to ancient, medieval and modern philosophers.

Through life, appreciation is recognised as something valuable to you, which has nothing to do with its monetary worth, however what about the affirmations of goodness, the good things in the world, gifts and benefits that we’re all receiving.

Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” —Zig Ziglar

The source of goodness are outside of ourselves, that we acknowledge through other people, those people who gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.

Grateful living is a way of life which asks us to notice all that is already present and abundant from the tiniest things of beauty to the grandest of our blessings – and in so doing, to take nothing for granted.

We can learn to focus our attention on, and acknowledge, that life is a gift. Even in the most challenging of times, living gratefully makes us aware of, and available to, the opportunities that are always available; opportunities to learn and grow, and to extend ourselves with care and compassion to others.

Grateful Living is supported by daily practices, tools, habits of the mind and behaviours that can be learned, translated and applied to many aspects of our lives. It is also nourished in community and in relationships.

Small grateful acts every day can uplift us, so why not make a difference to another persons life, whether it be big or small. Random acts of kindness are beautiful gestures that can comfort you or the receipt.

Why not make time for someone you don’t know, maybe make a donation to a charity or bring freshly baked bun to your local emergency services. Offer your kindness to family and do something nice for a friend.

Gratitude for the gift of life is the primary wellspring of all religions, the hallmark of the mystic, the source of all true art. ~ Joanna Macy

Each morning I wake up, I thank the universe for giving me another day, allowing me to stretch using all my muscles, allowing my lungs to help me breath and giving me another day to use all the abilities to get me through the day ahead.

I walk through nature giving gratitude to the sounds I hear, the smell of the summer grass, and appreciate the trees. I’m grateful for the shade and the daylight and I share my thankfulness to our weather, whether it’s warm, cold or wet.

I thank my guardian angel and archangels for keeping me safe and listening to my troubles and answering my prayers. I share my gratitude to everyone who deserves kindness, being everyone though especially to all those persons making a difference, hospital staff, employees, friends and charities.

I’m grateful to have the love of my partner, to have a man who accepts me for being myself.

I’ve had the worst upbringing, however it’s made me the person I am today. I show gratitude for the strengths and courage history has brought me. I show gratitude to the universe every single day keeping me steady on my feet and bringing my all the joy I receive.

Gratitude can change the outlook on your past, brings peace for today and can create your blessings for tomorrow.

The benefits of practicing gratitude are endless. People who regularly practice gratitude by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, gratitude is personal to each of us, but it’s all controlled by the same sources.

I’ve added this list of gratitude gestures which you can do over one month. Give it a shot and come your second month, it will be like you’ve been doing it for many years.

– James Keenan

ACCEPTING TIME

Time is the one thing we all have in common and what is important is how we can use that time. How important is it to you?

We are all different heights and weights, we all have different talents, we’re all from different cultures and ethnic backgrounds, but we all have time.

The only thing that we are given that’s common to everyone else is time. Who you are and what you become depends on how you use your time. We all have twenty-four hours in a day, black or white, young or old, rich or poor, we’re all given the same amount of time every day.

Time cannot be stopped, you cannot stop a day, you cannot stop an hour, but you can control how it will be used, which means that even know time is unstoppable, it’s controlled and what you do with it, determines who you become.

One of the things we all know about life is that it is always changing, sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down, sometimes you are happy and sometimes you are sad. That is life! When we begin to understand and know that accepting reality that we will have our ups and downs, but during those down moments, that is where the growth takes place, that’s where the work is.

Anyone can feel good when they’re happy and their children are well behaved. Anyone can be excited and love their life because their bank balance is growing. Anyone can be positive and have faith under these circumstances, but the real challenge of growth, mentally, emotionally and spiritually comes when you get knock down. How you handle it, is where the growth takes place.

I think of time a lot, because time is life, 365 days of measuring time will allow yourself acceptance to begin its journey. Find your purpose, bury your past and look to the future. Time is a blessing or a curse depending how you manage it. Time is life, what you become depends how you use it. Time is free, but it is priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it and once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back. Time is given to us as an eternity. Time is given to measure the purpose of life. Time is powerful.

I took time for granted, I abused its worth and used it stupidly. On realising the importance of time, it made my life outlook differently and it saddens me that I am only realising this now. It took my past to attempt to take my life and the little confidence I had was stolen from me. It’s undoubtly sad that it took something as cruel and life changing to realise the importance of self-neglect and my worth.

I had to take time away from work to be able to find my identity and reflect on my actions and health. It took my actions to be honest to myself and to those important around me. On reflection, I thought what am I doing? Why am I doing this? Why am I ruining something that could be so positive? It took a while and I found that my answer was fear. I couldn’t be honest about my mental ill health and to overcome my past frightened me so much so that my future felt threatened. I felt my future was non-existent.

Do I continue to destroy my life, or do I fight against it? I fought. I fought long and hard and swore I would never find myself in that dark place again. I wanted to return to work, however I felt vulnerable. I was deemed vulnerable by the medical professions in the services I was involved in. I worked hard to get well and to overcome the things that once made me shy away.

I was hospitalised due to my mental health and with a fantastic support network around me, I wanted to spend my time differently. I felt and seen the value in time and that’s when I realised the importance of life.

Just before my hospital admission I began a course with Open University and despite my recovery, I studied, researched and completed my course to a high standard and my result reflected how hard I worked to achieve considering my surroundings. It was during my spare time, I enhanced my writing skills and whilst struggling with dyslexia I put my pen to paper and started writing poetry and entered competitions. I unfortunately didn’t win the competition, but when I received feedback, I continued to remain proud to hear I wasn’t shortlisted but was greatly advised how to change my writing skills differently by a Northern Ireland author.

I kept writing and my poetry was found, highlighted and shared by the South Eastern Trust within the NHS. “The Untold Heroes” was written to celebrate the staff of the NHS in its 70th anniversary year. It was printed and framed and given to Ards and North Down Borough council as a gift to commemorate the conferring of the Freedom of the Borough on all healthcare staff. It now hangs at Bangor Castle in the Mayors parlour and another is due to hang in the Ulster Hospital. The success of my poetry pushed me to write more and now I have written poetry for NexusNI a Northern Ireland based charity for survivors of sexual violence.

My learning didn’t end, I continued to seek new skills and qualifications and whilst in recovery I was excited to use Recovery College to help me understand my own mental health and diagnosis. I went on to study a little more through the college and gained a lot of certificates. I am now trained to facilitate courses within the Recovery College and I’ve just co-produced my first programme that I will co-facilitate. I furthered my learning and now hold a few OCN qualifications and trained as a Suicide First Aider, I am excited to be a Suicide-Safer Community Designator to help save lives and offer my support to communities. I am now currently studying a stress management and confidence building programme and to gain more computer skill knowledge which will help my blogging, I am studying an ECDL IT programme.

I’ve learnt how to manage my time to seek more skills and qualifications, I have accepted my diagnosis and now I know there is no stopping me. I now volunteer for two charities and within the Recovery College. I now self-advocate and I have completed my own personal WRAP, a Wellness Recovery Action Plan. Wrap is a self-designed prevention and wellness process that anyone can use to get well and make their life the way they want it to be. I have completed my WRAP facilitating training and now trained to deliver the programme to schools, communities and other groups including workforce. I’m studying sign language and counselling skills and hope to work closely within the South Eastern Trust, Unison and the Open University and study more relevant qualifications and in hope one day I will qualify in nursing or paramedic science.

I’m now optimistic and more excited than ever before about my future. If I could give advice to others and not just those persons with a mental health diagnosis, I’d say:

“Turn your dreams into a reality, we all hold the power to create a future that we want. Vision what you want and believe in your worth, you will face obstacles and have days you don’t think you will see past but believe me you can get through anything by simply believing in yourself. We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then is not an act but is a habit. We all grow to believe that normal is the best way to be and that perfection is something we all can become, but in reality, it’s just a myth of false hope. What is normality? Does it even exist? What is perfection, is it real? Know you create your own happiness and accepting the truth about time and the importance of life, simply believe in your own worth and put your strengths together to create a universe so powerful, it will guide you to your own destiny. No one is normal, nor are we perfect, but we are all human and we’re all good enough.”

– James Keenan

BEAUTIFULLY IN LOVE

A poem written to express my appreciation of love, protection and hope!

When I first met you I knew it was love,

As if an angel had sent you from the heavens above.

Your smile so cute gets me every time,

A beautiful signal that reminds me your mine.

It was an instant connection and being inseparable,

Our journey began to a destination to be so incredible.

It wasn’t long before I got to know you,

A man so gentle and loving with a heart so true.

The beauty of your kiss and the magic of your touch,

It’s all these reasons and more why I love you so very much.

The smiles and giggles, it’s just us two,

Now I will thank you for making my dreams come true.

Its in your arms I feel best protected and less restricted,

Our love together has only ever got stronger, just as I predicted.

You make me smile and mostly laugh,

Here I hope we continue to remain on this amazing path.

The little things you say and do, proves your love to be true,

So rest assure that no one else will ever take the place of you.

Beautifully in love, trusted and love prone,

I would rather share one life time with you rather than alone.

-James Keenan

LITTLE SISTERS

A poem written to tell a story of my appreciation towards my siblings.

You’re my life a circle, one that never ends,

We may have fallouts but can always make a mends.

I’ve now been a brother for almost thirty years,

Starting with the first arrival who brought me happy tears.

We’re best friends, soulmates and siblings too,

Even through the darkest day, we’ll stick like glue.

We stick together during events good and bad,

We know how to give a hug when one of us is sad.

My precious little sisters so loving and kind,

When we are together we’re powerfully combined.

Years have gone by and I have had time to reflect,

Whatever path you decide to take, i’ll be smiling with great respect.

You have your families and you’re maturing now,

But I still as a big brother, I always question why?

Yous are the apple of my eye, the heart of our family tree,

I love each and everyone of you forever what will be.

Together we as siblings who are totally inseparable,

Cherishing each moment and making a life so memorable.

I’m your big brother yet I can still turn to you,

The same applies I’ll always be here for you too.

You aren’t just my sisters, but you’re my inspiration,

For it will always continue throughout our life’s duration.

We may not always be together with life sometimes keeping us apart,

But that doesn’t matter for you’re all in my heart.

So in happiness and filled with love, i’m gonna shout out loud,

I love yous so dearly, thank you for making your big brother proud.

– James Keenan

THE SECRET

The Secret is a book and television documentary, written by the fantastic and beautiful Rhonda Byrne, based on the law of attraction.

The law of attraction is a tool that can be used to help change your life. It can also invite positivity into your life and by simply believing in yourself, you can change your mindset by the way you think and react. This in result broadens your core values, ethics and beliefs, whilst accepting the law of attraction this will guide you through the universe to create a destiny for yourself.

In order to become a master at manifesting the law of attraction, we have to undo the patterns that have been stored in our unconscious mind and replace them with positive, empowering patterns. In other words, we need to rewire our brain.

You can begin by implementing daily positive practices in our lives, we will shift and raise our energetic vibration so that we can manifest from a place of calm, inspired action yielding a faster result. If you get into the habit of using tools that will insert empowering and positive thoughts into your mind, you’ll be poised to produce good experiences and results!

You can start by paying attention to what you you need to focus on. Do you pay attention to what’s going right or what’s going wrong? When you’re working on manifesting your dreams, challenges will arise, but when you focus on what’s right, you become an incredible problem-solver, which builds confidence and quickly raises your energetic vibration. You will be able to move through obstacles quicker without worry of challenges.

You can practice by using breathing exercises and techniques using your belly and not the chest. This type of breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system (rest-and-digest), which helps produce a sense of relaxation and contentment and allows us to be calm and clear when taking inspired action.

Meditation is a huge advantage to use if you follow the law of attraction. Meditation can be used in a spiritual format or simply during relaxation and yoga. You can practice anywhere at anytime. Meditation helps us withdraw attention from stressful, negative patterns we’ve created over time. Practicing can be a huge benefit and has been known to change millions of peoples lives. It can improve your sleep and guide you through wellness and recovery.

Move your body whatever way you want, do what is most comfortable, there is no right or wrong way to sit when meditating, manifesting your vision or practicing the law of attraction. Negative emotions are stored in our bodies on a cellular level. Moving is one way to release stress and negative energy. It doesn’t have to be intense; you can dance, practice yoga or go for a walk. It’s as simple.

Get yourself a journal, write how you want, but practice gratitude. Gratitude is one of the simplest ways to raise our vibration. When we recognize our great fortune and appreciate all our blessings, it automatically puts us in a “feel-good” energetic vibration. Writing your goals will not only help you get clear, but will help you create inspiring actions towards your dreams.

My favourite part of manifesting my thought process is reading my goals that i’ve noted in my journal first thing in the morning and before going to bed at night. I allow myself a little headspace to visualize and connect with the feeling of achieving my dreams. Feel like you already have what you want. It’s as easy.

You can practise whatever way you want, however I would strongly recommend finding headspace, meditate beforehand and believe in yourself. This is my practice.

You can only be the best version of yourself, you are the only person who has the power to create your own destiny. Be brave, smile and know your worth!

– James Keenan

Whatever feelings you have within you, are attracting your tomorrow.

Worry attracts more worry.

Anxiety attracts more anxiety.

Unhappiness attracts more unhappiness.

Dissatisfaction attracts more dissatisfaction.

And

Joy attracts more joy.

Happiness attracts more happiness.

Peace attracts more peace.

Kindness attracts more kindness.

Love attracts more love.

Your job is an inside one.

To change your world, all you have to do is change the way you feel inside.

How easy is that?

Practice, Practice, Practice.

– Rhonda ByrneAuthor, The Secret